I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So many bounce houses so little time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
