I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Panties = found
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