well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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