I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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