i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
