Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
