Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
