i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
