Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
