i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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