hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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