i don't like sucking hair
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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