can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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