Come see our sink grown plant.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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