The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
