Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize