how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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