Whod you bang
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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