I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
