the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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