fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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