Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it hurts more in the daytime
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
