We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
