i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
