During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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