Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
