We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
