What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
