did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
