I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Randomize