ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
