I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
