hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
