Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
