And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My life is pants optional.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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