Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
