ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
