Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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