hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
