she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize