well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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