I heard we made out
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
