Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize