Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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