paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
