So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
