Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I party with great urgency now.
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