The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
