I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize