redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
