based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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