I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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