We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
