he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
