i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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