is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
