We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
