90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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