Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize