He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
