I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
