Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
