Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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