i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
