Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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