My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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