So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
