Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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