Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
