my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize