You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
